Socialism Saturday, and the Commons ran as hot as a blast furnace. Parliament was recalled to pass the Steel Industry (Special Measures) Act.
Westminster Bills normally need months of scrutiny but this one whizzed through in roughly the time it takes to chill a Cotes de Gascogne. By the end of a captious day we certainly all needed a gargle.
Mucho panico. Only after the House broke for Easter on Tuesday – doh! – did ministers realise steel production had reached crisis point. Recalling Parliament might at least obscure the foul-up and make voters think Downing Street was acting with despatch.
Whips sent frantic ‘return to base’ signals to their sheep.
Mr Speaker, who as we know seldom strays far, agreed to the first Saturday recall since the Falklands War. Wrenched from their dirty weekends and Easter hols, MPs reacted with partisan peevishness.
The mess was all the fault of (choose as many as you wish): Donald Trump, Kemi Badenoch, Ed Miliband, Kenneth Clarke, the Chinese, Russians, Prince Michael of Kent. Blimey, what was HRH doing in the mix?
Then my carer pointed out that Prince Michael was in fact his ministerial double Jonathan Reynolds, the Trade Secretary. Ah, that explained the Wearside accent.
Socialism Saturday, and the Commons ran as hot as a blast furnace. Parliament was recalled to pass the Steel Industry (Special Measures) Act. Picture: Stock image
The mess was all the fault of (choose as many as you wish): Donald Trump, Kemi Badenoch, Ed Miliband, Kenneth Clarke, the Chinese, Russians, Prince Michael of Kent. Blimey, what was HRH doing in the mix, writes Quentin Letts
The mess was all the fault of (choose as many as you wish): Donald Trump, Kemi Badenoch, Ed Miliband, Kenneth Clarke, the Chinese, Russians, Prince Michael of Kent. Blimey, what was HRH doing in the mix? Then my carer pointed out that Prince Michael was in fact his ministerial double Jonathan Reynolds, the Trade Secretary, writes Quentin Letts
The day began with Commons leader Lucy Powell, the clunkers’ clunker, sucking her tombstone teeth and hoping that ‘all members can work constructively together’.
That might have happened had she not resorted to dingbat sloganeering about how the Government was ‘acting decisively at pace’ to help ‘ingdustry’, as she pronounced it.
Alex Burghart, for the Tories, snapped that ministers had made ‘a total pig’s breakfast’ of things. Labour went tonto at this. Mr Burghart held wide his arms and did a double-tickle of his finger-tips, as if wanting more volume.
Mr Reynolds, who could easily have just cut the ribbon and waited for the band to play God Save The King, claimed that the only reason he could save the steel industry was that Rachel Reeves had ‘restored economic stability’.
Opposition MPs cackled like drunken Daleks. Ms Reeves looked annoyed. Because the Tories were laughing at her or because she suspected Mr Reynolds of low sarcasm?
Mr Reynolds is normally a mellow sort, but at the end of his speech he went oddly personal, singling out Mrs Badenoch for odium. She retaliated. A petty, complicated, inconclusive squabble ensued. They both looked cheaper for it.
Time and again MPs complained about our Net Zero energy costs, highest in the world. Mr Miliband furtively fiddled with his lower lip. He soon left the chamber. What do you reckon? Out by July?
Sir Edward Leigh (Con, Gainsborough) said the Scunthorpe steelworks’ Chinese owners were ‘under the cosh’ of Beijing’s ‘autocratic regime’, and we should never have had anything to do with the beggars.
Alex Burghart, for the Tories, snapped that ministers had made ‘a total pig’s breakfast’ of things, writes Quentin Letts
As if that were not bad enough, Speaker Hoyle told off a Labour MP for taking photographs. Civilisation was crumbling.
The Scots Nats and Plaid Cymru blamed the English.
The English blamed the Americans and Chinese. The Lib Dems blamed Brexit. The Northern Irish did not get to speak but it is quite possible they would have blamed Dublin.
Sir Jeremy Wright (Con, Kenilworth), a lawyer, foresaw ‘oncoming complexities’. Uh oh. That translates as ‘this could cost a fortune in legal bills’.
Jeremy Corbyn (Ind, Islington N) seemed delighted. Nationalisation at last, comrades.
In the Upper House, Lord Glasman (Lab) explained how big a philosophical deal this Bill was.
Thatcherism is dead – thanks partly to ‘Right-wing’ Trumpism.
Clever dissenting speeches were made by Lord Kerr (Crossbencher), who suggested that steel was less important than aluminium, and Lord Hannan (Con).
Nationalisation of steel failed in 1949 and 1967 but politicians were again returning to a policy that was bound to fail.
Lord Hannan quoted Kipling’s line, ‘the sow returns to her mire, the burnt Fool’s bandaged finger goes wabbling back to the fire’.
But the flames of nativist fervour burn stronger, and they, at present, are what smelt our politics.
