A woman has revealed that her relationship is in tatters after she told her partner of three years that she was ‘unhappy’ with her step-children’s disruptive behaviour.
Writing on the British parenting platform Mumsnet, the 39-year-old woman detailed how the 11-year-old and the 14-year-old ‘disrespect’ her and her home when they come and stay at weekends.
After a year of her partner’s children’s bad behaviour, which saw the boys ignore her, damage her belongings and even wipe ‘snot and food residue’ all over her furniture, the woman told her other half how ‘sad’ she was about the situation.
They drop ‘crisps and chocolate everywhere’ without ‘cleaning it up’, ‘complain constantly’ when the couple are trying to watch a film together and cause chaos in restaurants, leading to them all having to leave, the woman added.
‘I just said it makes me feel so sad that this is our lives when they stay, and that it’s ridiculous that they get to rule the roost and dominate the lounge like this, won’t make conversation, often ignore me, and I feel like a ghost in my own home,’ she repeated in her Mumsnet post.
Her partner, however, was utterly ‘unsupportive’, snarling at her and countering that that’s ‘just how kids are’.
The woman added that the following morning her partner ‘was annoyed’ at her for ‘still being sad/upset’ and, enraged, told her ‘the kids won’t ever be coming back’ and that ‘he would be packing his bag too.’
‘He left,’ she said, adding that she was ‘devastated’.
A woman has told how her partner of three years left her after she complained about his children’s poor behaviour
While the woman was ‘devastated’ about her partner’s sudden departure, one Mumsnet user believed she’d had ‘a lucky escape’
Reflecting on her partner’s sudden departure – and wondering if she was being ‘unreasonable’ for expecting him to side with her – the woman said: ‘My mum said his kids should always come first, and that all the above behaviours are normal, so we should just talk and sort it out.
‘She said this is the baggage he comes with, and this is step parenting.’
The woman’s post struck a chord with Mumsnet users, attracting almost 800 replies – but people were divided.
A significant number argued the step-children’s behaviour wasn’t ‘normal and is disrespectful’ and told the woman she’d had ‘a lucky escape’.
One person wrote: ‘This behaviour isn’t normal and is disrespectful. This is no way to live. Stand firm and [see if] he established boundaries with his kids. Or, if he’s not willing to do so, it’s probably for the best. This will only get worse!’
A second person agreed, writing: ‘Raise your bar. Not normal behaviour. He’s left, he’s shown you who he is. Find someone who respects you.’
A third Mumsnet user added: ‘Honestly, it sounds like you’ll better off with this entire family out of your life.
‘Nothing you did led to this. His kids [are] being entitled, ill-mannered little jerks. All the things they did are not normal and I’d be mortified if my kids did them.’
In her Mumsnet post, the 39-year-old woman listed all the ways that her step-children disrespected her and her home – and explained her partner’s reaction
Mumsnet users weighed in on the woman’s situation, with some suggesting she had been expecting too much of her partner
A fourth added: ‘You’re well rid. Lazy Disney dad who can’t be bothered to teach his children manners or appropriate behaviour. There’s a lot of them around. Enjoy your peaceful home.’
A fifth stated: ‘Sounds like you’ve had a lucky escape’.
Some, however, suggested the woman was expecting too much in hoping that her partner would be supportive when she complained about his children’s behaviour.
One person said: ‘Their behaviour seems the extreme end of normal, but you’d expect that from kids testing boundaries with dad’s new partner.
‘He has done the right thing putting DC [dear children] ahead of you, hard as that is for you.’
The woman complained that her partner’s children damaged her belongings and even wiped ‘snot and food residue’ on her furniture
Another appeared to agree when they wrote: ‘I’m impressed he managed to put his children first to be honest. Good on him, actually. Whatever you think of his parenting, he wants his children to be comfortable in their home.
‘Sounds like it’s for the best for you too really, dating a man with children is hard. Find someone without the baggage OP [original poster]’.
A third Mumsnet user weighed in: ‘That’s EXACTLY how I imagine step-kids to be, that’s why I would never entertain being a step-mum.
‘But I can see his side too, the kids are just being kids and their existence sounds miserable when they are at your home. Call it a day.’
