AH, the sheer indignity. Of all the things to be fired over, a pink plastic vibrating vagina is not the stuff of P45 dreams.
And yet here we are again, cancelling a man over the most inane of misdemeanours.
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With the BBC reportedly poised to chop Wynne Evans from his radio slot in the wake of this latest incident — buying a sex toy for his mate, EastEnders’ Jamie Borthwick, during the Strictly Come Dancing tour — it is proof we have lost all collective sense of humour.
(As an unimportant side note to those asking, I’m reliably informed the pixelated sex toy in photos published in The Sun on Sunday was, in fact, a £35 pulsating front bottom, not a Rampant Rabbit; words I never thought I’d write in a national newspaper, but we are where we are.)
As a nation, we have backed ourselves into this patently ridiculous corner, whereby any big organisation will panic-choose wokeism over loyalty and common sense.
Quite simply, the BBC — damned if they did and damned if they didn’t — had to be seen to take action lest a bunch of rabid leftie feminists came for them declaring war.
And, of course, lots of humourless, hemp-sandal-wearing types were fairly cross about his comments on social media.
But here’s the rub.
No actual women at the heart of this story were offended, let alone upset. And his girlfriend remains by his side — if she’s not perturbed, what right do complete strangers have to be incensed on her behalf?
Wynne, as I have written before, may be a bit of a relic compared to many a slick, media-trained, well-oiled showbiz star.
A bloke from the valleys who finds boobs funny and hasn’t knowingly put himself on any corporate-speak language and behavioural courses of late. Or, indeed, ever.
He was previously booted off the Strictly tour — over another gag involving a grim sexual reference.
Tellingly, the woman supposedly at the heart of that “scandal”, Janette Manrara, never complained, formally or otherwise — even before the tenor issued a grovelling, Little Britain-esque apology.
And now, Katya Jones, who was partnered on Strictly with the Welshman — a man who must have put up with every sheep-shagging joke going but probably hasn’t complained — has come out in staunch defence of her pal.
In a chat with Fabulous magazine, she made an incredibly eloquent point, one that has been seemingly overlooked by the BBC.
Pearl-clutching
“I would have liked for people to have trusted my word, so I don’t understand why they didn’t,” she said.
“On one hand people say, ‘We must believe women and what they say’, but then, when you actually say something, they don’t accept it.”
So in performatively protecting women, in reality the BBC simply ignored them.
Auntie’s furious pearl-clutching is a huge overreaction. Virtue-signalling of the highest order.
It’s not progressive to pretend people don’t joke about sex — they do, daily, in offices up and down the country.
And let’s not forget, the Strictly tour isn’t Corporation-funded — it’s a BBC Studios production, a commercial subsidiary.
So no taxpayers were harmed in the making of this sex-toy chat.
It is not feminist to censor jokes amongst friends — none of us would ever dare speak again if so — and it’s not progressive to sack a man who no one involved wants sacked.
Collectively, we need to stop kowtowing to social media extremists.
Quite simply, the BBC should speak to Katya and Janette, and let them decide.
Now that would be progressive.
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IT was fun while it lasted. But later this week I’m expecting a polite tap on the shoulder – possibly an email – from HR, and notice of my last ever column.
Turns out, I’ve been indiscriminately sexting various colleagues over the past few years. Yep, who knew the champagne-popping emoji means “I’m having an orgasm”?
Certainly not me.
Indeed, only last week I congratulated my much younger colleague on some good news, sending her three exploding champagne bottles and a couple of kisses. She replied with a curt “Thank you”.
A recently published guide to Gen-Z emojis outlined a plethora of them and their respective sexual meanings.
And, word to the wise: Avoid all aubergines, peaches, camels, water droplets and full moons.
RALPH IS NATURALLY PUMPED ABOUT ROLE
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PROOF, once again, that age is no barrier to beauty, here’s 62-year-old Ralph Fiennes looking incredible ahead of his new film.
The British star showed off his rippling physique, one garnered to play the role of Homer’s most famous hero, Odysseus, in movie The Return.
Granted, Ralph had to give up sweets, alcohol and bread and, more impressively, he did it the old-fashioned way – sans Ozempic and co.
WALKING, talking contradiction Prince Harry has done it again.
Days after shunning a close pal’s wedding in London’s poshest borough, Chelsea & Kensington, over safety fears, he was back in one of his favourite London haunts, a courtroom.
After moaning (Harry’s favourite state of being) about the dangers of London, the Duke was off . . . to a war zone.
So Chelsea town hall – too dangerous; Ukraine – fine?
DOWN DOGS? CRAZY
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RIGHT. This mental-health epidemic has gone too far.
The use of ‘Puppy Prozac’ is now up tenfold as owners turn to mediation to calm their dogs.
What utter lunacy is this?
Many of the pooches being prescribed fluoxetine, an antidepressant sold under the brand name Prozac when used in humans, are lockdown ones who have shown behaviour “issues” like chewing furniture, whining, boredom and excessive barking.
If a dog is bored, it is NO ONE’S fault bar the lazy, cruel owner.
If you can’t find the time to walk, play with and entertain a dog, you don’t deserve one.
Their life is short, make it count.
BOOK THIS IN
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NOT my usual fodder, and realise there are online book clubs for this sort of thing, but for any avid readers out there, give this WONDERFUL tome a go.
All The Colours Of The Dark, a novel by British author Chris Whitaker, has leapt into my top five books of all time. (And I write this as someone who has read a book a week for the past 20 years.)
After finishing it last month, I still can’t stop thinking about it.
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SO misogynist Mickey Rourke has been booted out of the Celebrity Big Brother House – and not before time.
He swore at Chris Hughes and was homophobic towards singer JoJo Siwa, a girl half a century younger than him.
But as one straight, female commentator wryly observed: “That horror could turn me into a lesbian.”
Quite.
ZARA’S GOING SOFT
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LOUIS Tomlinson and Zara McDermott have “soft launched”.
To the uninitiated – aka anyone over 45 – this means teasing the hoi polloi with their romance.
In this instance, the new couple both posted photos from the same gig, and Zara uploaded a snap of her breakfast (because that’s what young people do), with a flash of Louis’s distinctive tattooed arm in the background.
A “hard launch”, meanwhile, refers to a pair going all-out, and posting a full-frontal (clothed) photo together.
Yep, this is what it’s come to in 2025.
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